Chapter Sixteen: Impediments

“So anyway,” I said. “We're here, in China. How do find our guy so we can get the fuck out before we get tortured by the ninja spies?”

“That won't be easy,” said Ada. “We will have to use codes, and they'll have to be analog. Spydr3 hasn't logged in since the DM suppliers started disappearing, which is why he's still alive.”

“We have to find one guy in a country that's got more than half the world population without using technology?”

“Well, I do know a few things to help narrow it down.”

“Such as?”

“Well he's been jacking in from Hong Kong for the past three months, so chances are he is close to there. Based on his diction on the various forums he posts in, he is American-raised, so there's a decent chance he isn't Asian. And I know some of the crews he has been known to hang with.”

“Let me guess. National Otaku Society? Anime Nerds of China?”

“Actually, it's much more specific than that. He has mentioned involvement with the Hammerskins, White Aryan Resistance, Blood and Honor, and the Chinese National Workers' Party.”

“Excuse me,” said Aphrodyke. “Is the man we seek a, that is, does he belong”

“We're looking for a fucking Neo-Nazi?!” I interrupted.

“Technically the group abandoned that name after World War Three, and are now the New Neo-Nazis. Their platform has changed somewhat since white is no longer the dominant race in any nation on Earth.”

“What changed?! They still hate Jews, Blacks, gays, gypsies, Asians, Native Americans, the Irish, Poles, Italians, Pacific Islanders, Catholics and I'm sure a few other groups that I don't even know exist.”

“True, but rather than genocide, they are now willing to settle for worldwide genetic racial reassignment.”

My witty retort was interrupted by a feminine voice behind me.

“General Dukakis told me to expect you,” it said.

“Fuck,” I said, turning around to face it.

“Extremely fuck,” Aphrodyke said.

“Hi, Mizz Mao,” Ada said.

Mia Mao was exactly the kind of woman every Anime nerd wanted to get spanked by. Her half-Asian features added an exotic beauty to her round face; her skin was pale and soft, and her hair was a dark bob that angled sharply from back to front. On top of that, she wore the same style of slutty businesswoman suit that I had seen in porn after porn. I was almost as aroused by her as I was scared shitless of her.

“Ada,” she said, winking. “A pleasure. I think you and I will grow to be fast friends.”

“Listen,” I said. “We don't want any trouble with you. We already got a fucking psycho hulk chasing us back home. We're just here to talk to one guy. That's it.”

“The only kind of trouble I'm offering is the kind you wouldn't refuse,” she said breathily. She moved her hand to her crotch and rubbed a little. “Because I am soooo much trouble.”

“Are there any normal people left in the world?” I asked.

Mao feigned a pout. “Aww, look who's jaded. Listen up you pathetic fucking worms. There were two ways I could do this. And lucky for you, I saw the news and thought your boy here was cute, so I chose the way where I don't take you to the dungeon. Well, I still might take you to a dungeon, but this one has pleather and stainless steel instead of sackcloth and rust.”

“What do you want?” asked Aphrodyke.

“I just want you to keep doing what you're doing. I want you to build that robot you're going to build. Because I'm going to learn how to do it from you. Then I'm going to market the absolute shit out of them and make even more fucking money.”

“What if we don't tell you how to do it?”

“You'll tell me. You might have to blink it in Morse code when the Takers are done with you, but you will tell me. I don't see why you wouldn't want to though. What are you working for? You want to build intelligent, self-replicating robots? Haven't you ever watched a movie? Humanity is going to end up batteries! So I have to assume something is threatening you into doing it. What kind of threat is worth selling out your species, I can't imagine, but once you build the first and let me watch, because I do love to watch, I protect you. Fuck, I'll even give you a profit share. A meager fraction of a percent, but you'll be richer than you ever imagined. I'll get the US off your back for all the treason charges, and all you have to do for it all is save your own damn species.”

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